annual breakdown

breakdown ... we don't just breakdown .. there's always a reason why..

someone breakdown very often,someone don't. If you do,congrats , you don't have so much emotional burden like I do. I don't breakdown often, so when I breakdown once in a blue moon its gonna be a disaster. Had a fun -> angry -> sad -> breakdown -> drunk -> crashed night .It is a night full of tears..I think all of my tears done flowing for just this night..LOL.. It's time to sober up and continue my life. Feels so good after breakdown, it's the 1st time of the year if I'm not mistaken. Freaking 9 months of accumulated emotional burdens. Maybe , I'm just too not optimistic..maybe..I'm so tired of my life,well~ sometimes. Freedom being abused is a disaster..fuck this..I know..I understand too..We have to do things that is correct and to know what we suppose to do..fight for a better life in future,meeting all the expectation from all the people around us..etc etc so called correct stuffs.. But .. sometimes people just need a break.. I concluded myself as a good person..maybe overall acceptable.. I dont know what do u think .. but there's a better chances that I dont even care..

I study hard, Gym hard , trying to be active in college, Earn for myself, afford myself, knowing my future plan, don't do stuffs that hurts people .. what else do I need to do to be a "good" student/daughter/friends/ or simply a 19 year old girl ? I dont know. I am absolutely open-minded to make changes to be better. I always do. so I'm not being self-satisfied and gonna stay like this forever. Feel free to give me comment, appreciated. Better than u stabbing my back saying those things that you dont even know if it is true. Most of the time those stupid things is just being made-up because of ur stupid jealousy and insecurities. Dont do that please, it makes u ugly.... really ...

Gah..What-so-ever ! life goes on .. never look back ... c'mon steph !

I've so freaking much things to do ... pls kill me now ... sigh ~